his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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