google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
