We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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