I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize