READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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