just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize