last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
