True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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