I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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