Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
