I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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