He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
