dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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