WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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