My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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