I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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