areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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