as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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