Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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