yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
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we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
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He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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