so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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