No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
