In the future we'll all be gay
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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