she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
