i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
