im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
