I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
