My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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