never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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