Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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