your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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