u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
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You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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