I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize