Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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