awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
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If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
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I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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