wakey wakey hands off snakey
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The power of my boobs compel you
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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