So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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