There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
