I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
