I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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