I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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