I just saw a hot homeless man
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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