Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.