Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
