the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
