no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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