Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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