she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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