Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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