Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
