I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
