That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
