hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
