another moral hangover. fuck.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
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I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
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Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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