he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I need moral support for this bender
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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