Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?

(1-905): View more from Toronto

i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood

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(219): View more from Indiana

so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.

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(206): View more from Washington

You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

you didn't get her number why?

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.

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(707): View more from California

I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs

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(517): View more from Michigan

I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle

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