Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
