Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Who said anything about talking that was a booty call

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  (313): Who said anything about talking that was a booty call http://tfl.nu/p4qu
  Replies (1) Good night (2002) Bad night (855)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore

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  (703): i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore http://tfl.nu/70pj
  Replies (32) Good night (2960) Bad night (826)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?

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  (732): is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side? http://tfl.nu/sml7
  Replies (97) Good night (895) Bad night (2496)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.

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  (304): My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/mk68
  Replies (7) Good night (2930) Bad night (629)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.

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  (214): I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some. http://tfl.nu/ig2r
  Replies (8) Good night (3978) Bad night (795)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.

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  (816): I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding. http://tfl.nu/1j8r
  Replies (12) Good night (1240) Bad night (4762)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?

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  (781): what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to? http://tfl.nu/2zz0
  Replies (32) Good night (1206) Bad night (3117)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes

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  (505): she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes http://tfl.nu/9qtj
  Replies (10) Good night (4510) Bad night (1009)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.

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  (937): The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15. http://tfl.nu/cktg
  Replies (24) Good night (1218) Bad night (4254)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out

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  (403): That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out http://tfl.nu/2o0c
  Replies (8) Good night (3877) Bad night (836)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday

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  (601): Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday http://tfl.nu/2xqb
  Replies (5) Good night (493) Bad night (1299)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.

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  (801): Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype. http://tfl.nu/layx
  Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (411)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You have to summon your inner elephant

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  (206): You have to summon your inner elephant http://tfl.nu/wpzr
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (337)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.

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  (580): Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style. http://tfl.nu/uibp
  Replies (3) Good night (171) Bad night (470)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG

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  (256): Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG http://tfl.nu/vp2r
  Replies (5) Good night (399) Bad night (161)

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