New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that