I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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