I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just had sex on a roof
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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