I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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