we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
