Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
